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Sunday, July 17, 2005

Peak Oil, Schmeak Oil

It's easy to find articles written by learned, intelligent people advising that the world is running out of oil (This search found 149 articles.). PDQ. Well, rest easy, friends and neighbors. I'm here to tell you that this is simply absurd. There's no need for all the gloom and doom.

The world will never run out of oil. I promise. Mother Earth is a creative gal. It may take her a little time (maybe a billion years or so), but even if we find all the places she's hidden it this time, someday there will once again be all kinds of oil available for plunder. Probably some of it will be as easy to find and as easy to exploit as the finest fields in Saudi Arabia.

The quest for oil is really like a global easter egg hunt, isn't it? Mother Earth has hidden those eggs in all kinds of places. And some people just love to track 'em down and open 'em up. I'm sure glad those people are out there. Sometimes they find a shiny penny. Sometimes they are disappointed. Sometimes they find a yacht. But I digress.

It would be interesting to know how many dozens or hundreds of millenia will occur between the last hydrocarbon-powered piston's firing for our generation (geologically speaking) and the next whoever (or whatever) lives here when that next round of exploitation gets under way. Not even Google has the answer to that question.

Anyway, for the time being, I remain ...

The Poster


Blogger The Velvet Fog said...

Just think, it could be your rotting corpse that fuels that very engine!

7:45 AM, July 18, 2005  
Anonymous Creamed Corn said...

Where are all the white women at?

3:33 PM, July 18, 2005  
Anonymous Party Boy said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:03 PM, July 18, 2005  
Anonymous Party Boy said...

Party Boy, one dollar.

4:11 PM, July 18, 2005  
Anonymous Narcissitic Christian said...

I just want to thank God for everything I have and everything I am. God made me so great and I owe all of my great praise to Him. Thank you Lord, Oh Lord, Oh my Lord shannana nanistika. Hibbabbi eindlicho dela dey. Oh yes Lord, you are Great because you made me Great!

4:21 PM, July 18, 2005  
Blogger garrett said...

That's beautiful, thank you.

But God didn't make you a good speller, did he? Also, the syllogism in your last sentence is wildly ridiculous.

6:46 PM, July 18, 2005  
Anonymous narcissitic christian said...

I spell the way God tells me to spell. We'll see who's laughing while I'm misspelling words in heaven though! And it's not really a syllogism. A syllogism would be more along the lines of "people named Garrett are fat. Your name is Garrett, therefore, you are fat." And please, I'm a christian, I accept what I'm told rather than learn. So can you please express yourself more monosyllabically? It makes it easier on me. Thanks!

10:41 AM, July 19, 2005  
Anonymous Ken said...

You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen.

10:57 AM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger garrett said...

Ken - I don't think that's how it works. Jesus loves the little children. Remember that song? I assume you were being facetious.

1:18 PM, July 19, 2005  
Anonymous Ken said...

Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?

2:37 PM, July 19, 2005  
Anonymous Tyler D said...

It tells you that God doesn't like you, never wanted you, in all probablity He hates you. This is not the worse thing that could happen. We don't need Him. F*ck damnation, f*ck redemption. We are God's unwanted children. SO BE IT!

11:16 AM, July 20, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Waffle cones rule.

4:28 PM, July 20, 2005  
Blogger garrett said...

What are you people talking about? This was a post about geology, not theology. My goodness.

9:12 PM, July 20, 2005  
Blogger garrett said...

Also, Phineas Fogg at the top, I'd think you would appreciate with your cleverness that no corpse would still be rotting 1 billion years after its death. If it was still around it would be a fossil by then. Duh.

9:13 PM, July 20, 2005  
Blogger The Velvet Fog said...

It was my understanding there would be no math involved.

8:53 AM, July 21, 2005  
Blogger garrett said...

You're an equation wrapped in a calculation.

8:33 PM, July 22, 2005  

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