THIS BLOG IS MY BLOG. THIS BLOG IS MY BLOG. Welcome to the Home of Hyperopia.: A Cockroach Orange

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

A Cockroach Orange

Do cockroaches mate for life? I'm talking about cockroaches in Texas. Not those puny little things that pass for cockroaches up in the midwest. Down here in Texas, these creatures are of significant size. When you step on one of these Texas cockroaches, and this is no bull, some of the cockroach sticks out from both sides of your shoe. Even if you're walking around on size 10s.

But I digress ...

This morning I observed, at the very bottom of the stairs from the parking garage in our building to the main lobby, two cockroaches. One was extremely large and fairly aggressive. The male of the couple, I believe. He was upright and on his feet. He looked like he was guarding the other. He scuttled around and put his body between me and the other cockroach as I walked past. The other cockroach was the female of the couple, I believe. She was flat on her back, struggling. His devotion was touching, so I let him live. Plus I didn't want all that cockroach goop and guts on the bottom of my shoes. That is disgusting.

We get a few of these cockroaches in the house every month. Everybody down here does. They don't infest the place. They just show up from time to time. Generally when you find one, they're lying on their back and they lie there motionless. Sometimes they're dead when you find them, but sometimes they're just lying there motionless. When it's that option (i.e., they're just lying there motionless), and you go to scoop them up into a dustpan or a trash bag or something, it's always startling. If you accidentally flip 'em back onto their feet, they make their move - survival instincts - and they are very speedy. And (again) disgusting.

17 Comments:

Anonymous Flibber-o-Loo said...

If you were truly a good samaritan, you would have flipped over the female...can't you help a brother out?

9:33 AM, August 24, 2005  
Blogger garrett said...

If it was the fate of that female cockroach that I help her, I would have helped her. As I did not help her, clearly it was not her fate for me to do so.

9:58 AM, August 24, 2005  
Anonymous Russ Meyer said...

Nice Cones!

10:01 AM, August 24, 2005  
Anonymous F.P.H. said...

Don't hate on the Player, hate the game.

10:31 AM, August 24, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My favorite island is Molokai, but Kauai has a lot to offer. Does anyone know about the creation of cartographs of this area?

10:36 AM, August 24, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford said...

You may indeed if you get lucky...
Normally I don't swing that way, but I'd be happy to draw you a map should the situation present itself

10:40 AM, August 24, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford said...

Generally, however those nice little lower back tattoo's make the best canvas for maps of polynesian island chains.

10:41 AM, August 24, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you know that Hawaii is a series of islands that was all spit up by the same volcano? I never knew that.

10:41 AM, August 24, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford said...

Yeah, baby YEAH!

10:42 AM, August 24, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am the waffle maker!

10:43 AM, August 24, 2005  
Anonymous This Love said...

I have a tattoo on my lower back.

10:44 AM, August 24, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Milton, can you just spray this can of pesticide in here? There's a bit of a cockroach problem.

10:48 AM, August 24, 2005  
Anonymous Pablo Honey's Mom said...

I despise rapists. For me, they're somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corners of your mouth when you're really thirsty. But, in your case, I'll make an exception

10:49 AM, August 24, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford said...

Creepy Man

10:51 AM, August 24, 2005  
Anonymous Polynesian Mamma said...

I'm gonna love the hell out of you.

10:51 AM, August 24, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Over the line, Smokey

10:52 AM, August 24, 2005  
Blogger Complete Game said...

Oh talented one, how do you know the respective gender of said cockroachae? Did you see any outdoor plumbing dangling from the protector?

7:43 AM, August 26, 2005  

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