THIS BLOG IS MY BLOG. THIS BLOG IS MY BLOG. Welcome to the Home of Hyperopia.: Recovering From Rita - Part 2

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Recovering From Rita - Part 2

SUBTITLE: The Truly Tragic (Seriously) Parts


I realized late in the evening this past Thursday that I was the proud but suddenly even more nervous owner of two pints of Ben & Jerry's. And that one of the pints was the flavor pictured above (the greatest ice cream in the world). The other was the provocatively named Karamel Sutra (schwing). Hurricane Rita was bearing down. It was bedtime. We fully expected to lose electricity to our home (freezer) for at least several hours after the storm hit. I couldn't bear the thought of losing this ice cream to the storm. We took extraordinary steps. We filled a cooler with ice. We tucked the Ben & Jerry's into a plastic bag. We put the ice cream in the cooler. We violated maximum posted speed limits slightly during our exfiltration of the greater Houston metroplex. And as soon as we got to my dad's we stored the ice cream in his freezer. It was barely soft.

It was saved.

Then Saturday afternoon when we left to come back to Houston we skipped all of the steps before the "we violated maximum posted speed limits" step. In other words, we done drove off and forgot the ice cream in my dad's freezer. Both pints. Heartbreak Hotel.

Curse you, Hurricane Rita.
There's no recovering from a loss like that.

The next tragedy is my wife's. Last night, at about 7:45 p.m. Houston time (15 minutes before the season premiere of Desperate Housewives), the cable went out. This show is important to lots of thirtysomething women, including my wife. She likes it. She was really looking forward to seeing it. I had a desperate housewife on my hands!

And because we were one of the few families in our neighborhood to have cable immediately after the storm and prior to the outage last night, we attribute this vicious blow (pun intended) to Hurricane Rita. Rightly or wRongly. According to the Houston Chronicle, it is unclear whether Rita is to blame.


Blogger The Velvet Fog said...

Edy's slow churned chocolate chip cookie dough, exposes Ben and Jerry's for the steaming pile of excrement that it is. You should consider yourself fortunate not to have that shite around.

8:02 AM, September 28, 2005  
Blogger garrett said...

I smell a sucker for a marketing pitch. All ice cream is slow-churned mister mister. If it wasn't slow-churned, it would become butter.

But your opinion is registered.

9:55 AM, September 28, 2005  
Blogger The Velvet Fog said...

Well, I like mine slow churned.

9:56 AM, September 28, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford said...

I like the red-headed woman on that show. She's the hottest of the bunch.

Dongley enjoys desperate housewives.

9:58 AM, September 28, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford said...

BTW, slow churning is the only way to go.

9:59 AM, September 28, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford said...

You like Karma Sutra b/c the name is quasi-erotic, and you think THE FOG is a sucker for marketing?

Pot: Hello Kettle, You are black!

10:01 AM, September 28, 2005  
Blogger garrett said...

At least spell the name of the ice cream correctly, Cartography Stan. It's "Karamel Sutra".

Maps are really just pictures.

10:39 AM, September 28, 2005  
Blogger The Velvet Fog said...

Whatever. I don't want to be thinking about anything sexual when it involves Ben and Jerry.
That's just gross, Rett.

You tend your biscuits.

10:50 AM, September 28, 2005  
Anonymous The Ladies Man said...

Um, ok. That's just disgusting.
How about a fish sandwich?

11:16 AM, September 28, 2005  

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