THIS BLOG IS MY BLOG. THIS BLOG IS MY BLOG. Welcome to the Home of Hyperopia.: Spouses Like Us

Monday, September 19, 2005

Spouses Like Us

On Dreams Realized - Part 1

If At First You Don't Succeed,
Try It On Your Spouse

One of the commonly-recognized side effects of raising an infant is that it makes you (and, see below, your spouse) sleep deprived. One of the commonly-recognized side effects of sleep deprivation is that it can make you (and, see below, your spouse) a bit mentally duller, and thus a bit more vulnerable to conversational traps. Even if you (and, take my word for it, your spouse) are otherwise pretty sharp.

Well, over the weekend, sleep deprivation produced by infant-raising conspired to allow me to realize a dream I've had since I first saw Spies Like Us back in 1985. I played the part of Austin Millbarge (referred to hereinafter as "Villain"), and my wife suffered graciously in this scene as Emmett Fitz-Hume (referred to hereinafter as "Victim").

The pertinent exchange follows (the setting is - family gathered in the kitchen, breakfast being prepared):

  • Victim: What is that black thing out by the lawn chair?
  • Villain: I don't know. It looks like a dickfer.
  • Victim: A dickfer? [pause] What's a "dickfer"?
  • Villain: To pee with. [laughing, laughing, laughing]

Ah, the utter and complete joy of it all. Good times.

I tried to get somebody (anybody!) to say "what's a dickfer?" for twenty years. And it finally happened. It was well worth the wait. This event was my Heinz ketchup for this decade, at least.

Please enjoy this sound clip of the original with my compliments. Also, as a side note, in googling for the links in this blog, I noticed that there are a number of different spellings of the key word out there. The IMDB spells it "dickfor" and the .wav file linked in this paragraph spells it "dicfor". Well, neither of those are correct. I have spelled it correctly, based on my recollection of the source material. I read the novel version of Spies Like Us. Today, it is unclear to me how or why. But I did. And I remember that the word is spelled - in print, in the book version of the movie - "dickfer." If somebody has the movie and wants to watch that scene with the close-captioning on, I would consider input as to how "dickfer" is spelled in the movie's captioning important.

It's true, you know. Pee is the new coffee.


Blogger The Velvet Fog said...

I'm glad you finally had your moment. I am pleased to report that I have managed to inflict this verbal braining on at least two unsuspecting people that I recall specifically over the past 9 years.

It never gets old.
Rock on.

8:17 AM, September 20, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All right, you guys ain't working as a team. I'm gonna have to shut down the studio. The only way I'll reopen the studio is if you go up to the Bronx, and get me some breast milk from a Cambodian immigrant.

8:36 AM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger The Velvet Fog said...

I think breast milk is the new pee.

8:46 AM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger The Velvet Fog said...

Appreciation of this type of humor reminds me of a story that I must share.

Unbeknownst to me my son, God bless him, has it in his head that the word 'peepers' is a synonym for more than one penis. I have no idea where he came up with this. So anyway, every night at bedtime, I read a chapter of the book 'Pinky Pye', which I'm told by the cover is a classic children's tale about some children growing up in New Jersey in the 1920's. In the story the children frequently refer to crickets and other insects that make noise in the night as 'the peepers'. They will say such things as: 'I sure like to fall asleep listening to the peepers signing'. This will undoubtedly result in peals of laughter from my son. For a long time, I had no idea why he would start laughing hysterically whenever I would read the word peepers. So finally I asked him why this was so funny. He was laughing so hard he could barely tell me, but he finally blurted out, "Peepers are Penises!"

So now, with that imagery in my head, I can barely read the story, because now we both start laughing hysterically every time the books says something like: "...outside the waves and the peepers made their usual sort of music..."

You can't beat that.
Peepers. That's gold Jerry, GOLD.

11:35 AM, September 20, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When we are born our brains are like empty computers waiting to be fed information. As we grow our peers act as our programmers, they supply us with the knowledge which we channel through the conscious mind into the subconscious (our hard drive). The subconscious mind is the biggest hard drive ever developed - it stores everything we come in contact with and by no means is all of this information of a positive nature.
All that we have heard, touched, smelt, tasted and seen are stored in the recesses of our minds. The subconscious mind holds on to this information until we need to recall it. For example when you were young your curiosity lead you to investigate your surroundings. When you approached a substance that was dangerous, such as fire, your parents or guardians would most likely have rebuked or scolded you if you ventured too near the flame. Perhaps you may even recall an incident when you were physically burned. Your subconscious mind then began to relate scolding (or pain) with the intense heat of the fire and would therefore feed the feelings of the scolding incident back to you whenever you got too close to fire again, thus acting as an early warning system.
This is the mechanism used by our brains to learn. It is also the same method employed by the mind in every situation. The subconscious mind has a tendency to emulate what it sees - it tends to replicate its environment. This is why so many people find themselves in similar relationships and situations that they saw their parents in while they were growing up. Most people also hold very strongly or similar views of their parents.
Think of a time when you gave yourself praise. What words did you use? Do you use the same words that your parents or peers used when they were praising you? The same is applicable when you scold yourself.
Watch your internal dialogue. Look at it closely. It takes diligence to change the way you think. When you notice yourself thinking a negative chose to think the opposite. This way you neutralise the negative thought. Now the think the positive thought again! You have just reversed the negative thinking in that moment and remember you only have this moment. No other time exists!
Daydream about what might be. Imagine things they way you wish them to be. If you catch yourself thinking "this is just a daydream - a fantasy" then stop! Think the opposite. It is not a daydream it is your reality. Now think it again.
By doing this simple procedure you will begin to retrain your subconscious mind to think positively and you will ultimately begin to consciously create a life that dreams are made of! self hypnosis

5:52 AM, May 28, 2006  

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