On the Business of Birthdays - GUEST NOVELIST APPEARS!

Friends and visitors, I'd like to take moment to recognize a true accomplishment in typing. By cutting and pasting it -- with the permission of the author, I hasten to add -- here for all times' sake. And old times' sake, since I'm a couple weeks delinquent on bestowing this honour on my darling older sister. I only say "older" because I have two sisters, each of whom is darling. Anyway, to the good stuff ...

By the way, I got this by email. Shortly after I forgot my sister's birthday. At least I think I forgot it. Maybe I didn't though. It's hard to remember. I've been doing a lot of shopping lately.



From: Laura the Birthday Girl
To: Various Associated People of Uncertain Relationship
Subject: More About My Birthday

Hello Haiku Group Commentary Recipients,

I would like to question why the near majority of my well-wishing has come from sources of a corporate or marketing nature. Bikram Yoga, Getdefensive.com, World Market, Bank of America-- these are the 'friends' who are quick to celebrate my birthday. Must my birthday go the way of those of other great birthed ones, like Jesus, and just become another secular commercialized opportunity to sell somebody more of what they don't need to make them happy?

Of course, if someone wants to GIVE me more of what I don't need to be happy, other than a gratuitous email or card that some secretary had to handwrite the address onto yesterday (oh, the CYNIC! Luckily I am, actually, insanely cheerful in this moment), that would be fine. I could resell it on craigslist, if nothing else.

I'm sorry if any stores were closed, or having obnoxious sales, today. It could be my fault.

Love, and Happy Birthday to you in advance or arrears, because I may not get you a card in time, having no ulterior motives,

Laura