THIS BLOG IS MY BLOG. THIS BLOG IS MY BLOG. Welcome to the Home of Hyperopia.: Beans, Beans ...

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Beans, Beans ...

... they're good for your heart. Especially rich, roasted coffee beans. I love the smell of coffee after a good meal. Don't you?

Thinking about coffee got me wondering how many Starbucks there are within twenty miles of my old zip code in Omaha, Nebraska.

Turns out there are sixteen. The internet is really the right place to find information like this. The Yellow Pages are so 1980s.


Blogger Dongley Shlongford said...

Well that is great, rett.
However, when part of the reason a person is looking for one is that the 'wireless' access in their hotel doesn't work, it can be tedious to get that information off of the 'internet'. I also notice that at least 6 of those locations are situated within other stores, thus making them difficult to locate. Especially, when a person comes from a part of the world where you can't swing a dead cat without spilling someones mochalochalattadadda. So don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining, sharpshooter. Why don't you come on over and join the team for the big win?

And for the record, you don't even drink coffee! The word on the street is that you prefer your own pee.

1:44 PM, September 06, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford said...

I spent about a half an hour looking for number 10 on that damn list! The f'n yellow pages don't bother to tell you that it is located in a freaking fracking MALL! That can be difficult to see from the street.

Damn cow town. Redneck beltbuckles.

1:48 PM, September 06, 2005  
Blogger garrett said...

One other choice would be to call the 800 number for Starbucks Retail Customer Service. That number, available on their website, is 800.235.2883.

That's a free call from most motels dirt-counters stay in.

1:51 PM, September 06, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford said...

BTW, there are no less than 272 stores within 50 miles of me.

So stick that in your low-fat, soy, half calf, no whip, vanilla mocha and smoke it.

1:53 PM, September 06, 2005  
Anonymous eggs and bacon said...

Polynesian cartography fans are all the same. Somebody tries to give them a little learning, and quick as you wink, they go and plop a map of Hawaii all over you.

2:28 PM, September 06, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

55 stores in the Hawaiian Islands.

Word verification is for suckers.

2:30 PM, September 06, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pee is the new coffee

2:31 PM, September 06, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You put a Starbucks in a Hy Vee you can't count that. That is straight up whack. Expect a stirring speech from Kanye WEst on the situation.

2:38 PM, September 06, 2005  
Anonymous leaving class for personal reasons dude said...

what's "hy-vee"?

3:12 PM, September 06, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

strain of hashish.

You're out of your element.

You have no frame of reference here. You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know...

What's "Hy Vee"? Get a job sir.

3:20 PM, September 06, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My son isn't clever enough to hatch a scheme like this.

3:29 PM, September 06, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the young people enjoy it when I "get down" verbally, don't you?

3:36 PM, September 06, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why,oh Why,oh Why,oh did ever I leave Ohio?

3:50 PM, September 06, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The bum's loss.

3:52 PM, September 06, 2005  
Anonymous leaving class for personal reasons dude said...

I ran into Dongley at a bar, about six years afer college. He is one straight up dude. I'm bald now, and I still suddenly get up and leave a room for no apparent reason, and then come back with my face all red. I'm just nuts, I can't stop.

4:36 PM, September 06, 2005  
Anonymous this love said...

what is berserker?

4:41 PM, September 06, 2005  
Anonymous Madonna said...

I pee on my feet. It is good for the skin.

12:08 PM, September 07, 2005  
Blogger Truth Girl said...

There are 220 within 20 miles of my zip code. 354 within 50 miles.

How did you come up with 25 miles...that's not an option that I see on the Starbucks website. And I agree, most of the Omaha ones don't count.

1:12 PM, September 11, 2005  
Blogger garrett said...

I'm not sure why I said 25 miles, other than user error. The search I linked to was a 20 mile radius search. So I corrected the text in the post. Thanks!

On Omaha's Starbucks, please don't encourage Dongley. That's like waving a dripping steak in front of a crocodile. It'll bring out more prehistoric rantings.

And anyway, doesn't everyone know there are Starbucks in Targets and Hy-Vees?

2:44 PM, September 11, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford said...

Truth Girl is obviously vastly more sophisticated than the blog administrator. I am beguiled by her feminine charms, and forced to wonder the obvious: Has she ever been to Hawaii? Dongley is in the Chicago area, and would love to show you his map collection...

And no, people who don't live in Iowa, and left before the Starbucks revolution, don't know that they are in Hy-vee's. And they are not in ALL Target's.

Dongley has been informed that Panera Bread stores also offer wireless internet connection, free of charge.

After careful consideration, it turns out that Dongley's computer was improperly configured, and failed to recognize a wireless connection anyway. Dongley is a first rate cartographer of polynesian island chains, but he ain't much for computin'.

12:04 PM, September 13, 2005  
Blogger Truth Girl said...

Truth Girl is completely confused by all comments on this blog.

2:35 AM, September 15, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford said...

Hang in there Truth Girl we are like a commercial jingle. First it's a little irritating. Then you hear it a few times. You're humming it in the shower. By the third date, it's 'Buy Mennen!'"

9:02 AM, September 15, 2005  
Blogger Dongley Shlongford said...

I would also like to add that if you are reading this blog at 2:30 in the morning, there clearly is not enough Polynesian cartography being done around there. There is nothing more satisfying, more breathtaking than a map of New Hebrides at 2:30 in the a.m.

Dongley is also pleased to announce a new line of maps in honor of Ferdinand Magellan featuring the islands of the Bering Sea! My first offering will be the Aleutian Islands, and yes, don't worry it WILL include the island of Amchitka.

9:21 AM, September 15, 2005  

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