THIS BLOG IS MY BLOG. THIS BLOG IS MY BLOG. Welcome to the Home of Hyperopia.: Lyttle Lytton Contest Entry

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Lyttle Lytton Contest Entry



I heard about this contest from a dear friend and a wonderful man (not pictured). This contest is delightfully intellectually stimulating. I am a traditionalist, so I am only interested in the "classic" Lyttle Lytton contest. The rules, the parameters, are as follows: Your task is to write the first sentence of an imaginary novel. Your goal is to make it hilariously bad. The maximum sentence length is 25 words.

I like this idea. I used to have some of my dear friend the wonderful man's efforts, but I lost that email after moving over to the new job. Luckily I still have the best effort I've summoned to date. I haven't submitted this for the contest. But I am publishing it here for the collective joy of both people who read my blog regularly.

To whit:

  • By afternoon the distant screams subsided, but since the planet Zerphat doesn't orbit anything or rotate, this didn't mean much to Bob or Lucy.

I'm not sure, reading it again today, that I like it that much anymore. But I would definitely not read a novel with that for the first sentence, so at least it's got that going for it.


Photo Credits: here

10 Comments:

Blogger The Velvet Fog said...

It is bad. It isn't mind-numbingly bad, but it is bad.

12:28 PM, May 10, 2006  
Blogger The Velvet Fog said...

Actually Geeves, now that I have been over to that site you linked and read the offerings from 2006, I think yours is better or worse as it were than that shite they are slinging over there.

I'm waiting breathlessly for Queen Erin to weigh in on this topic.

Will she bring those devilish gloves? Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps.

12:45 PM, May 10, 2006  
Anonymous Old Kent said...

It is getting dark, then it is very dark, black.

1:46 PM, May 10, 2006  
Blogger PDD said...

Thanks for that info. I want to enter too. I would never read a novel with that for the first sentence either, so I think you are on the right track.

Very well done!

PDD

1:48 PM, May 10, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, it's great!! It kinda sucks, but it's also intriguing (in a bizarre little way), and it has STYLE (or so to speak)! What fun!

10:11 PM, May 10, 2006  
Blogger garrett said...

Actually, your comment, anonymous, makes me think my comment would have been better if I'd have ended it with an exclamation point.

10:13 PM, May 10, 2006  
Blogger PDD said...

Yes, garrett. You need to do the revision. That will be hilarious!

11:07 PM, May 10, 2006  
Anonymous Heninger said...

The shock at hearing that His Libertarian-ness had changed jobs without making it well-known to those in Virginia who esteemed him well was a shock. (it's sort of chiasmus-ic in a way . . . sort of)

3:07 PM, May 25, 2006  
Blogger Erin O'Brien said...

I've thrown it down for your buddy, flamingo1. He's got until Monday, May 29, 2006 at midnight.

9:49 AM, May 26, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Visualization is a tool that has been used for thousands of years by initiates of all the metaphysical schools. Today, it is incorporated into top athlete's daily routines and is used in business affairs frequently. It's use is wide-spread among highly successful people, either consciously or unconsciously, aware of its create power. So if it has stood the test of time and is still being used by high achievers we must come to the conclusion that it works! But has it ever worked for you?

If you answered 'yes' to the above question then you know how powerful this technique can be. If, on the other hand, you gave the more likely answer 'no' then take heart for I am about to reveal to you a sure fire way of reaching your objectives through this mostly misunderstood art.

The trouble with visualization is simple - its in its name!

When studying and contemplating the art of visualization most people have the impression that they must create visual images and make them real or life-like. Many people, in fact the majority, find this almost impossible to do. Even if they can formulate a solid picture of their objective they find it extremely difficult to sustain the image for any length of time. Either the image fades, changes or other intruding thoughts intervene.

This type of visualization is almost impossible to sustain and luckily it is not at all necessary. Why? Because it is in the subconscious mind that your visualization needs to be placed and there is good news. The subconscious mind does not know the difference between an imaginary event and a real one. Your visual image only needs to be a strong visually as any other imagined event. However, that is only half the story.

If all you had to do was just imagine stuff and your world automatically changed to reflect your imaginings this world would be full of chaos (not to mention all those creepy crawly bug-eyed monsters!). Therefore, there are a few more steps to complete before the visualization is passed to the subconscious for manifestation.

Let's try a little experiment. Remember a scene from your past that has a lot of good feelings around it. Any good memory will do, like the first time you heard the words "I love you" from your partner, an amazingly spectacular sunset, a great holiday event or your last birthday. Pick one and remember it. How clear is the image? Can you remember any sounds? What way did you feel? Is there any sense of touch, taste or smell? Identify how your memory works. Is it mostly visual, auditory, kinaesthetic or of a feeling nature?

Now we are going to create an imagined event in our lives that has the same strength and potency as that image. So relax and let's go.

Imagine something that you do everyday, something that you did yesterday, today and will do tomorrow. Let us take the example of waking up tomorrow morning. Don't try to add or take anything away, just think about it and analyse the scene. Is it dark or light? Are you lying next to someone in bed? Do you still feel tired? Has the alarm clock sounded? Are you irritable that you have to get up or full of joy at the dawn of a new day?

You will find that the imagined event is very similar to the memory with probably one key difference - your point of perspective. Is the memory behind you and the future event in front of you? Is one to the left and one to the right? Maybe they are both in front of you or the future seems to move in a clockwise direction. Whatever the perspective the thing to notice is that they are very similar in appearance.

Now imagine doing your future event a week from now, then a month from now, then six months from now. Where are those images placed? Are they moving further away, going clockwise, from left to right? This is your time-line and using it is important in visualization as you will see later.

Ok, let's imagine something that is very unlikely to happen and see where it differs from the last image.

Imagine you are sitting somewhere familiar which is extremely comfortable and relaxing to you. Now imagine that a person you know well comes up to where you are and says "hello". Imagine them telling you that they want to show you a new trick. All of a sudden they have three juggling balls. They throw them in the air and begin to juggle with ease. Then they begin to whistle one of your favourite tunes. You suddenly realize that there is a strong smell of flowers in the room and notice a vase of them just behind the juggler. Imagine laughing loudly at the scene and feeling joyful at the experience. Then the person juggling leans forward stands on leg and puts the other leg outstretched behind them. All the while still juggling and whistling. Then they begin to hop on their leg as a small bird flies over to perch on their head. Once you have the imagined event and stayed with it a few moments just let it fade.

Ok open your eyes. What was the difference between the two images? Can you spot any? Did you use more, less or roughly the same senses in your fantasy event as you did in the future one? Did you see them from different angles? Was the picture bigger in one than the other? Was the sound clearer, the feelings more acute or the smell stronger? Take some time and go back to each scene in your mind. How does the future event differ from the fantasy one? Are you looking at both from a different vantage point? Do you see yourself in the image of one but not the other? Analyse the scenes and see where they differ.

Have you identified how the future event differs from the fantasy one? If you have then its time to make visualization work for you! Take a goal that you have been working on or would like to achieve. Nothing too far-fetched at this point please! Pick something that is possible but at the moment seems a little impractical. Once you have it form a mental image of what it would be like to have, be or do that thing or be in that experience. Remember to form it the same way you do a memory. Give it the same strength visually, in sound, feeling, taste and touch - use your mind in its natural state. All you have to do is imagine the scene.

Ok how does it differ from the scene of waking in the morning? Can you identify the differences in perspective, sound, taste, touch, feelings and what you hear?

Now there will be one other key thing that differs in the images- it is very simple but often overlooked. You know that the future event is going to happen! This is reflected in the way we experience the image. So what we are going to do is fool your subconscious mind into thinking your goal is definitely going to happen by manipulating your goal image!

Once you know what the differences are in each image begin to change the goal image so that it is seen the same way as the future event in your imagination. Place the visualized scene in exactly the same position with the same perspective as your future event.

Place it in the correct position on your time-line. You may already begin to feel that the goal is more possible. Visualise in this way everyday and you will condition your subconscious mind to manifest the experiences necessary to make your goal attainment certain.

One more thing to remember: During the day think about your goal often. This reinforces the visualization and will begin to dispel doubt from your mind. hypnosis

2:06 PM, May 26, 2006  

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